Feeling Anonymous 

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We’re all fighting to be heard, to be seen and more importantly, we’re all fighting for a place in this world – but have you ever wanted to feel anonymous in a place you’ve never been? To truly want to remember who you really are or maybe find out who you want to be. 

Recently visiting Nepal, I decided that I wanted to put myself to the test to see if I knew who I was and to do that I challenged myself to hike a full three day on the Annapurna Range. I like to aim high. The trip was a mixture between a grooling three day hike through the mountains and rainforest to exploring the surrounding cities within Nepal from tourist based places to sucluded community areas. I wanted to visit a place I’ve never been before and challenge myself – and I didn’t want to be known. I didn’t want to be someone’s sister, someone’s daughter, a friend, a worker or tax payer or someone who was trying to find their place in the world. For 10 days, I didn’t want to be anything but anonymous. But why?

“I needed to become anonymous so I could find out what type of person I wanted to be”

At the age of 25, all I’ve ever been exposed to is education. After leaving high school I went on to do a further four years at two different colleges and then a further three years at university. I was constantly being told what to learn, where I had to be and just in general having my life decided for me and now that I’ve finished university and having to fend for myself it’s made me realise that maybe I’ve lost myself a little bit. I needed to become anonymous so I could find out what type of person I wanted to be.

Throughout my life I have had the opportunity to visit some of the most amazing places including New York, Florida, Europe, and Turkey and all these places allowed me to see that part of the world but none of them really let me experience me as a person. None of those places challenged me or made me feel speechless in terms of not knowing myself. Nepal changed that…

Between the community home stays in Chitwan and the tourist stays in Pokhara and Kathmandu I experienced not only the most amazing hike I’ve ever completed but also how other people live. How different their lives are compared to what we have back in the UK. Now I’m not going to go all mushy and explain things we should be grateful for because we should, deep down, already know this. What I am going to share is that I found out who I want to be as a person and that I discovered I’ve always been this person and that I’ve just forgotten. I’m passionate about the things I love the most and I know that whatever is thrown at me I will be the most hardworking self I can ever be. I know that deep down I am a very strong person and even though things get me down it doesn’t define me because I know life moves on for the better. One thing I did learn was that I shouldn’t, and will no longer,  question myself. Life isn’t going to change if you don’t do anything about it. Things won’t come your way if you’re not willing to put yourself out there. Who cares if you look silly because you’re going after what you want and being strong means you will continue to pick yourself up after every fall because you know that one day you will get there and it will feel fucking fantastic!